When you find yourself in a tricky, challenging situation beyond your choice or control, you feel stuck in quicksand. No matter how much you tell yourself or others remind you, “This too shall pass,” the moment’s weight doesn’t feel lighter. Even if you’ve weathered similar or worse storms in the past and know, deep down, that this phase will eventually end, it doesn’t change how you feel right now—the anxiety, the fear—they linger, unrelenting.
Difficult times feel like a rollercoaster ride, with fleeting moments of happiness overshadowed by waves of sadness. And when you dig deeper, you realize that it’s the uncertainty that makes it so unbearable. Not knowing what lies ahead or how things will unfold fuels the anxiousness. If the future were laid out for you—clear and predictable—fear would lose its grip. But life rarely offers such clarity.
This is life.
So, what can you do? The simplest answer people give is to trust the process. But let’s be honest—that’s easier said than done. Trusting the process means embracing the uncertainty, leaning into the discomfort, and believing that the dots will connect eventually, even if you can’t see how right now. It’s not a quick fix or a solution to the pain, but perhaps it’s a gentle reminder that life moves forward, one way or another.
DO NOT RUSH INTO MOVING ON
Allow yourself the time to heal and cope. Don’t rush into “moving on” or force yourself to bounce back quickly. Take a moment to acknowledge your emotions—don’t suppress or ignore them.
Often, we feel the pressure to appear strong, to convince ourselves and others that we’re okay. In doing so, we undermine what we’re genuinely experiencing, brushing aside the raw, messy feelings that demand our attention. Instead, allow yourself to be vulnerable. Let yourself sit with your emotions and allow yourself to understand what you’re going through.
These emotions—no matter how overwhelming—are part of your process. They have the power to shape you for better or worse. But remember, this is what you’re feeling right now. This is you at this moment. And that’s okay. Healing isn’t about rushing to find the “settled” version of yourself but embracing the messy, unfiltered journey toward it.
There’s no fixed timeline for healing. It might take minutes, hours, days, months, or even longer—and sometimes, you may never fully heal. But know this: when you allow yourself the time to process your emotions, you uncover answers that only you can find.
Eventually, everything falls into place, but the key lies in giving yourself the space to truly feel and understand what you’re going through. At the end of the dark tunnel, you’ll realize that the journey of processing your emotions brings clarity and growth.
While others can support and guide you, remember that this is your journey. It’s a deeply personal path, and only you can navigate it. So, take this time to learn, grow, and make the best of it. Even in pain, there is wisdom; in the process, you might discover a version of yourself you never knew existed.
WRITE YOUR JOURNEY
Writing is one of the most excellent tools you have. Put into words what you’re thinking, what you’re feeling. Writing brings structure to your thoughts, especially when your mind feels like a tangled mess during difficult times.
In those moments, your mind is often flooded with thoughts, ideas, and potential solutions, all jumbled together. One second, a thought feels crystal clear; the next, it vanishes before you can hold onto it. It’s nearly impossible to keep track of everything swirling in your head.
So, start writing it down. Even the most uncomplicated thoughts, the ones you think are too small or irrelevant, put them on paper. Don’t overthink it—write. Later, you might be surprised when you go back and read what you’ve written. Amidst those scattered words, you’ll often find clarity, patterns, and answers you didn’t realize were there.
Writing helps you make sense of the chaos. It’s not just a way to document your thoughts but a process of self-discovery that can guide you through even the most challenging times. So, let your pen or keyboard be your ally—it may become your most significant source of strength.
HOLD YOUR IMAGINATION HORSES
During difficult times, it’s natural to imagine the worst. The mind, clouded by uncertainty and fear, often creates bleak, exaggerated, and sometimes improbable scenarios. This tendency can leave you feeling even more overwhelmed and trapped in a cycle of worry.
It’s essential to recognize that this is human nature—our imagination, one of our greatest gifts, can also work against us in moments of struggle. But here’s the thing: while you can’t always stop your mind from wandering into dark places, you can try to redirect it and use it to your advantage.
Start by living one day, even one moment, at a time. Focus on the present. Stay in today because dwelling too much on an imagined future only deepens the chaos. Understand that your mind will wander—it’s what the human mind is designed to do, especially under stress.
Don’t fight this natural tendency or push yourself too hard to stop those wandering thoughts. Instead, gently guide your mind back to the present whenever it strays. Acknowledge the thoughts without judgment, and then return to what’s before you. Over time, you can train your mind to think more constructively, even in the face of challenges. It’s not about silencing your imagination but learning to channel it toward strength and hope.
ASK FOR HELP
In difficult times, we often try to become superhumans—bearing the world’s weight on our shoulders, trying to solve everything independently. But here’s the truth: you don’t have to go through it alone. Lean on your family or friends you trust and feel safe with.
Let go of the fear of being judged, even if you’ve made mistakes or feel wrong. There’s no point in prolonging your pain if involving others can ease it. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness—it’s one of humanity’s greatest strengths. It’s a gift that allows us to share our burdens and gain different perspectives that might help us find solutions we couldn’t see on our own.
With trusted family and friends, things are unlikely to get worse. Allowing them into your struggles can make a world of difference. So, don’t hesitate—reach out, talk, share, cry if you need to. Letting others in, even for a moment, can lighten your burden. Sometimes, being heard and supported makes the path ahead feel slightly less heavy.
And maybe, just maybe, in the middle of all the chaos, you’ll find small moments of growth, resilience, or even peace. That makes the process worth trusting, even when it feels impossible.
LAUGH WHEN YOU CAN
Try to find humor in the little things, even in the mundane. There’s always something that can bring a smile or spark a giggle, no matter how small. Don’t be afraid or ashamed of feeling happy, even fleeting. Moments of joy are not betrayals of your struggles—they’re acts of self-care.
Look for opportunities to lighten your mood. It’s okay to laugh, smile, and let in some light even when the darkness hasn’t fully lifted. Don’t punish yourself more than you deserve. Give yourself grace and another chance. Allow yourself to embrace happiness when it comes, no matter how temporary.
Even in small doses, a positive outlook can go a long way. Cry when you need to, but laugh when the moment allows it. Don’t feel guilty for feeling better, even if your situation hasn’t resolved. You’re not betraying your pain by finding moments of relief—you’re choosing to care for yourself.
Remember, you deserve better. You deserve the best. Giving yourself the space to smile, to feel joy, and to hope is one way to honor that truth. Do it without guilt, without pressure—just because you deserve it.
Try these simple things to navigate difficult times, and perhaps, amidst all the chaos, you’ll discover small moments of growth, resilience, or even peace. These moments, however fleeting, are what make the process worth trusting—even when it feels impossible.