It’s incredibly hard to appreciate a sunrise, to feel grateful for life, when everything around you feels like it’s falling apart. When stuck in a rut, gratitude can feel out of reach. But imagine if you could still find a way to stay hopeful—if you could somehow hold on to a smile, nurture a positive mindset, and see a sliver of light despite the darkness. Wouldn’t that be something compelling?
Of course, it’s not easy. Most of us have found ourselves in that space at least once—maybe more—the point where nothing makes sense, and hope feels like a distant memory. In those moments, it’s natural to sink into heaviness, to spiral into a fog where everything seems pointless. Sadness wraps around us so tightly that even the idea of looking for something good feels impossible.
Lately, I’ve watched several people close to me weather some incredibly tough storms—relationship breakups, sudden career upheavals, unexpected health challenges. It feels like there’s been a collective wave of struggle, and on top of that, the constant stream of heartbreaking news reminds us just how fragile life can be, even for people we’ve never met.
In times like these, the phrase “count your blessings” can land poorly. It’s often said too casually, too flippantly—like a Band-Aid slapped over something that needs stitches. And while the intention might be good, when someone’s deep in pain, those words can feel hollow—or worse, invalidating. Sometimes the struggle is visible. Other times it’s quietly endured. Whether we’re standing strong or barely holding it together, one truth remains: we’re all doing the best we can with what we know, from where we are.
So, can we be grateful all the time? Should we be?
Here’s the thing—gratitude isn’t about ignoring pain or pretending everything’s fine. It’s a tool. A powerful one. But let’s be honest: when life feels like a haystack from hell, the last thing on your mind is hunting for a needle of silver lining.
Some people seem to have built up their “gratitude muscle.” They find light even in the darkest rooms. Maybe they’ve practiced regularly, so gratitude feels accessible. For others, gratitude is like an old friend they haven’t seen in years—familiar, but distant.
Our perspective has the power to shape our experience. When we learn to notice and appreciate the good, even the smallest bits of good, we naturally start to feel more grounded, more content, and more connected to our lives.
Yes, life gets messy. It gets hard and overwhelming. But even in the midst of it all, there’s always something to be thankful for—if we train ourselves to look for it.
Are you tired of driving the carpool every morning? It might help to remember how fortunate you are to have children to drive, and a car to drive them in. Feeling burned out from your job? Try shifting your lens: you have work, a paycheck, and a place where your efforts matter. Dreading dinner prep for the family—again? Pause and acknowledge the love in having a family to cook for, and the means to feed them. Grappling with an illness? It’s okay to feel tired, but see if you can also feel thankful for the medical support, the access to care, and the people walking this path with you.
Here’s one simple habit that helps me anchor myself in gratitude:
Before I even get out of bed in the morning, I take a brief pause. I close my eyes and reflect on three things I’m thankful for. It could be something deep, like the love of a dear friend, or something small, like the softness of my blanket or the promise of a warm cup of tea. No matter what lies ahead in the day, this moment helps me rise with a steadier mind and a softer heart.
At night, I do the same. Just before I close my eyes, I reflect on three moments from the day that brought me comfort, joy, or even taught me something. This practice has changed the way I experience life—it has shown me that even on the hardest days, there’s still beauty to be found.
When the hard days hit—and they will—it can feel almost impossible to search for hope when you’re drowning in dread. In that moment, your pre-written list might be the lifeline you need. A flicker of warmth, a reminder of your strength, or even a single sentence that helps you take one more breath, one more step.
That list is your backup light when the power goes out.
It’s your emergency kit for the soul.
And when those words you’ve once written start to lift you, just a little—you might find yourself smiling through tears, grateful not just for the blessings you named, but for the foresight to name them in the first place.
It might seem like a small and simple act, but don’t underestimate its power. When you teach your mind to focus on what’s right instead of what’s wrong, you begin to feel lighter, more hopeful. Gratitude isn’t about denying your struggles—it’s about remembering that even in the midst of them, there are blessings.
And the more you look for them, the more they begin to appear.